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in Motherhood· Postpartum

Postpartum Journey

Maternal Mental Health week kicked off on April 29, 2019 and I felt compelled to share some of my story. I hope this helps any mamas who have gone through, are currently going through, or may go through Postpartum Depression or Anxiety on their motherhood journey.

A friend of mine @aharmonmoore said it best:

“It’s okay that motherhood isn’t everything you thought it would be, that sometimes it is so much better, but sometimes it is so much harder”.

We tried for the twins for nearly a year, and once I was pregnant with them, it was a whirlwind of constant doctors appointments monitoring our health, and secret anxiety crept in and took root. I didn’t even realize it.

Because I was already a mama. I knew how to do this. I knew the fourth trimester challenges, I knew how to navigate breastfeeding issues. I felt so confident in all of that. What I didn’t feel confident in was learning how to juggle so much. The insecurity of navigating my new normal coupled with a difficult pregnancy compounded together.

Simple tasks like going to the grocery store felt incredibly daunting. Add on trying to give Lily enough attention, keep up our house, owning and running a business, managing relationships.-It got to a point where Tyler would have to tell me, “Lia, it’s time to go take a shower”. I truly felt like a zombie in my own head. I wasn’t enjoying doing anything anymore. Sleep deprivation of caring for two tiny babies is *no joke* and it hit me like a ton of bricks.

Before I even realized it, I had full blown Postpartum Depression. And it was bad. I cried to my husband, I cried to my dad, and I cried to a few close friends. I truly felt like I had lost myself and wasn’t sure how to get her back. I became extremely introverted in my personal life, only focusing on taking care of my children, myself, and my job because it was literally all I could handle.

I wanted desperately to regain me, I missed me so much, I just wasn’t sure how to find her again. So, I fought for her. I am still fighting for her.

This is what I did…

First, I called my OBGYN and told them how I was feeling. They got me in right away, and after I instantly burst into tears and told her how I had been feeling, she said “you have Postpartum Depression, and this is so normal especially after a twin pregnancy”.

“It is not you, Lia. It is the hormones and we are here to help you”.

The feelings were so bizarre. I would look at the babies, and they would smile and giggle, and I loved them because duh – they were my children, but I didn’t feeeel the love or enjoyment. If that even makes sense, I’m not fully sure, because it was such a strange sensation to feel so disconnected.

My OBGYN referred me to a counselor who specializes in Postpartum, and a few local support groups. I reached out to girlfriends that I knew suffered from PPD, and found a new community of strength through my church.

After a few months with the counselor, I still just didn’t feel totally myself.

I made the decision to start taking medication. YUP! You heard me. Within a month of taking depression medication, I started noticing small glimmers of “me” coming back. I wanted to be outside again, I wanted to cook, go shopping, and was actually enjoying the babies again when for so long I felt blank.

I want to say this LOUD & CLEAR. 👇🏼THERE IS NO SHAME IN TAKING MEDICATION FOR YOUR MENTAL HEALTH, MAMA.

If you are trying everything under the sun from a natural perspective and still not making headway, and still feeling awful, then keep asking for help. Waive the white flag. Yell from the mountain tops until you are heard.

DO NOT STOP FIGHTING. I REPEAT: DO NOT STOP FIGHTING.

Because YOU MATTER. YOUR HEALTH MATTERS.

Let me also just insert this right here: if you are shocked, or rolling your eyes because I just admitted out loud to the internet that I started taking medication for Postpartum Depression, just go ahead and close out this window. It is 2019, and by now we should have all learned that to stop passing judgment on each other, and offer support and encouragement.

The best thing we can do for our children as mothers is to take care of ourselves. Make sure that we are well, physically & mentally, to the best of our ability to care for them. We teach our children how to love themselves by modeling it on our own. You owe it to yourself and your children if you’re feeling less than to seek out help. You are not a “bad mom” for saying “I am struggling” or “I think I need medication to help me through this season”. In fact, you are so much stronger than you realize. Your strength comes from the ability to set your pride and fears aside, and seek out help so that you can be the woman and mother you are intended to be.

You are a warrior.

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Comments

  1. Jeanne C says

    May 5, 2019 at 12:11 am

    You sharing this part of your life can and will help someone else. Mental Health medications have helped many people “lift the mask of depression” and be who they truly are. We aren’t put on this amazing Earth to suffer, but to enjoy our lives as God intended. Though life is not always an “A” day as we all know, it is so worth living❤️I love your strength and will to get through these less than A days. Mother’s Day is in a few days and I look forward to your joy in celebrating your first one as a Mom of 3❤️👩🏼👶🏼👶🏼❤️

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liaeverette

⋒ Him | wife & mama of 👶🏼👶🏼👶🏼👶🏼
⋒ everyday life & encouragement
⋒ normalize motherhood 🙌🏼
✉️: helloliaeverette@gmail.com
📷: @liaeverettephoto

liaeverette
When you’re totally unprepared for your toddlers When you’re totally unprepared for your toddlers to jump ship from the wagon on their morning walk 🤣 #atleastshehadonpants #coooool #imareallygoodmom #whereisyourshirt #whereisyourbrother 🤪 swipe right to see the photo I meant to take 👉🏼 versus what I ended up with in reality😂 PS: for all my mama friends asking, I tagged the shop for the carrier that Noah is nestled down in! 💛😘
Instagram post 2323539769684258767_17546126 Instagram post 2323539769684258767_17546126
Oh hello ✨ if you’ve seen my stories you know Oh hello ✨ if you’ve seen my stories you know we’ve spent the last few weeks hiding out in the middle of no where. Enjoying a whole lot of nothing in a 26,000 acre forest is definitely what we needed. We’re heading back home now, but I’m really grateful for quarantine allowing us the opportunity to turn perceived burdens into blessings. I somehow managed to be lucky enough get a ton of extra snuggles + love from this girl. Even though I may have bribed her with press on fake fingernails to take this photo with me, it was totally worth it 💛
Is anyone else having trouble remembering what day Is anyone else having trouble remembering what day of the week it is?! Better yet, are you finding it doesn't even matter what day of the week it is anymore because it's all the same?! 🤣🤪Our controlled chaos house has turned into a stir-crazy mess of wild animals 😂Pip bit Wyatt before 8:00am, Noah is cutting his top two teeth and cluster feeding, Lily is boycotting Corona-school [honestly, I can't blame her], and I found a goldfish in my bra but I haven't eaten goldfish since yesterday or the day before 🧐😆 what. is. happening. 🤦🏻‍♀️
Some days you just need to turn everything off, sh Some days you just need to turn everything off, shut it all down, and reset 💛⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
We are all doing our best to adjust to whatever the heck this new temporary version of normal is. We are all overwhelmed, scared, frustrated, and definitely stressed. We’ve lowered our standards, and are trying really hard [like, really hard] to keep up our patience. Some days we succeed, some days we fail. I constantly remind myself throughout the day to just close my eyes and take a deep breath because truthfully, I’m overwhelmed.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I feel like we normally function pretty damn well around here but the stress / anxiety of this virus threatening us is taking a tole on my otherwise normally positive polly self 😕The anxiety of just going to the grocery store for milk and "what if I get it while I’m there" or the chance of my husband or one of our kids getting sick. I found myself holding my breath as I walked past people. I get nervous someone will get to close to us in our neighborhood while we are taking walks. My brain keeps going to worst-case-scenario places and it makes me sick to my stomach. We are cleaning and bleaching and wiping everything down before it comes into our house. It all feels so consuming. I typically try to just share the good stuff on here, but I feel like this is the reality right now and I guess I'm just hoping I'm not totally crazy and that other people are feeling the same way as I am right now. I'm really looking forward to the days when this is all behind us 😣
Bringing me sunshine on the daily☀️ Bringing me sunshine on the daily☀️
"When you have to pick, because at some point you "When you have to pick, because at some point you will, choose connection. Pick playing a game over arguing about an academic assignment. Pick teaching your child to do laundry rather than feeling frustrated that they aren't helping. Pick laughing, and snuggling, and reminding them that they are safe. If you are stressed, lower your expectations where you can and virtually reach out for social connection. We are in this together to sty well. That means mentally well, too". -Emily W King, Ph.D. 🛋
one last little reminder before we head off to bed one last little reminder before we head off to bed tonight. 🌙
me too little buddy, me too.😴 me too little buddy, me too.😴
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liaeverette

⋒ Him | wife & mama of 👶🏼👶🏼👶🏼👶🏼
⋒ everyday life & encouragement
⋒ normalize motherhood 🙌🏼
✉️: helloliaeverette@gmail.com
📷: @liaeverettephoto

liaeverette
When you’re totally unprepared for your toddlers When you’re totally unprepared for your toddlers to jump ship from the wagon on their morning walk 🤣 #atleastshehadonpants #coooool #imareallygoodmom #whereisyourshirt #whereisyourbrother 🤪 swipe right to see the photo I meant to take 👉🏼 versus what I ended up with in reality😂 PS: for all my mama friends asking, I tagged the shop for the carrier that Noah is nestled down in! 💛😘
Instagram post 2323539769684258767_17546126 Instagram post 2323539769684258767_17546126
Oh hello ✨ if you’ve seen my stories you know Oh hello ✨ if you’ve seen my stories you know we’ve spent the last few weeks hiding out in the middle of no where. Enjoying a whole lot of nothing in a 26,000 acre forest is definitely what we needed. We’re heading back home now, but I’m really grateful for quarantine allowing us the opportunity to turn perceived burdens into blessings. I somehow managed to be lucky enough get a ton of extra snuggles + love from this girl. Even though I may have bribed her with press on fake fingernails to take this photo with me, it was totally worth it 💛
Is anyone else having trouble remembering what day Is anyone else having trouble remembering what day of the week it is?! Better yet, are you finding it doesn't even matter what day of the week it is anymore because it's all the same?! 🤣🤪Our controlled chaos house has turned into a stir-crazy mess of wild animals 😂Pip bit Wyatt before 8:00am, Noah is cutting his top two teeth and cluster feeding, Lily is boycotting Corona-school [honestly, I can't blame her], and I found a goldfish in my bra but I haven't eaten goldfish since yesterday or the day before 🧐😆 what. is. happening. 🤦🏻‍♀️
Some days you just need to turn everything off, sh Some days you just need to turn everything off, shut it all down, and reset 💛⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
We are all doing our best to adjust to whatever the heck this new temporary version of normal is. We are all overwhelmed, scared, frustrated, and definitely stressed. We’ve lowered our standards, and are trying really hard [like, really hard] to keep up our patience. Some days we succeed, some days we fail. I constantly remind myself throughout the day to just close my eyes and take a deep breath because truthfully, I’m overwhelmed.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I feel like we normally function pretty damn well around here but the stress / anxiety of this virus threatening us is taking a tole on my otherwise normally positive polly self 😕The anxiety of just going to the grocery store for milk and "what if I get it while I’m there" or the chance of my husband or one of our kids getting sick. I found myself holding my breath as I walked past people. I get nervous someone will get to close to us in our neighborhood while we are taking walks. My brain keeps going to worst-case-scenario places and it makes me sick to my stomach. We are cleaning and bleaching and wiping everything down before it comes into our house. It all feels so consuming. I typically try to just share the good stuff on here, but I feel like this is the reality right now and I guess I'm just hoping I'm not totally crazy and that other people are feeling the same way as I am right now. I'm really looking forward to the days when this is all behind us 😣
Bringing me sunshine on the daily☀️ Bringing me sunshine on the daily☀️
"When you have to pick, because at some point you "When you have to pick, because at some point you will, choose connection. Pick playing a game over arguing about an academic assignment. Pick teaching your child to do laundry rather than feeling frustrated that they aren't helping. Pick laughing, and snuggling, and reminding them that they are safe. If you are stressed, lower your expectations where you can and virtually reach out for social connection. We are in this together to sty well. That means mentally well, too". -Emily W King, Ph.D. 🛋
one last little reminder before we head off to bed one last little reminder before we head off to bed tonight. 🌙
me too little buddy, me too.😴 me too little buddy, me too.😴
You know boredom has set in when you clean the kit You know boredom has set in when you clean the kitchen for fun. What's everyone doing to stay occupied?! I'm a total homebody but even I'm starting to get cabin fever. Checking in on my extrovert friends out there! 😆How are y'all holding up?!
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I'm Lia.
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